The Renovation Dissertation, Part 3

When was the last time you Googled “contemporary toilets?” If the answer is never, then take a moment and do it now; you will find about 439,000 hits. During the past three weeks, I swear I have looked at them all.

I began my quest for the perfect toilet to go with the perfect contemporary vanity cabinet (another 168,000 hits) naively thinking, “So what will a toilet cost – maybe $500?” Well, think again. Sure, you can go to the orange box store or the blue box store and get one for about $100, but will it have a real chrome handle? Will it look “high end?” Will a potential buyer look at it and say, “Wow! Where did they find that?” Will anyone even care?

Now, I had in mind something that was ecologically sound such as a dual flush model. (For the uninitiated, that does not mean two people can flush at the same time, but that you have independent settings for when you need an easy flush or a tough flush – you’ll forgive me if I hesitate to explain further.)

I also wanted something that was streamlined, stylish, ergonomically designed and easy to clean. And not stainless steel, please. I spent too many years in law enforcement to be able to think of a stainless steel toilet as chic.

I cast aside the models with little painted flowers and Victorian pulley systems. I sped right through the photos of standard, two-piece toilets and went straight for the one-piece models. I looked at round ones, elongated ones, pillbox ones and even square ones (!). I studied toilets both foreign and domestic: Japanese, Italian, English, Czechoslovakian and the good old American brands we all know and love. But when the prices shot up over $4000, I sat down on my own Kohler Rialto and put my head between my knees. A toilet for the price of a granite countertop? Oh puleeease!

So for the moment, I have put the toilet search aside and have moved on to faucets. In the end, however, (pardon the pun) the toilet selection will probably be based on comfort and cost. The coveted Creative Commode Award may have to wait for another project.

The Renovation Dissertation, Part 2

As real estate transactions go, this one is a peach! I certainly don’t want to jinx it, but I am delighted to have people involved in this who are knowledgeable, professional, polite and efficient. What a concept!

Our home inspection last Saturday included a cast of characters. Karen, Larry Wasson from Affiliated Inspectors (www.affiliatedinspectors.com or 301.986.8866) and I were there and were joined by Karen’s son, Brian, and his girlfriend. Brian is in construction and is part of the crew working on new condos around 14th and Church, so his expertise was extremely valuable.

We began late (unfortunately, that’s perfectly normal), but that allowed me to take some measurements and let Karen show Brian around the place. The sellers had vacated the property to give us a wide berth to look around. While that too is normal, we didn’t realize until later, when they begin straggling in to use the bathroom, that they had vacated by sitting in their van in front of the house for nearly 3 hours! Whether they were cursing us under their breath or just glad to get their house sold, I will probably never know, but I think a special gift for them will be in order at the settlement table.

When Larry inspects a house for me or for my clients (which he does frequently), he looks at it based on what would be considered “normal” for the age in which it was built. For example, what’s normal for a 100-year old rowhouse would certainly not be the same as for a new condo in a mid-rise building. Our project was built in the 70’s, so we don’t have to worry about things like the lead plumbing, old electrical wiring, or crumbling foundations you often see around town. Hooray!

The type of home inspection we had selected for our contract was “general,” meaning that we would inspect everything from nook to cranny. We had also agreed to buy the property in “as is” condition, with the home inspection giving us the basis for determining what “as is” really meant, but knowing that we wanted to upgrade the property substantially.

The result? Our project house got a clean bill of health with only minor annoyances. Our investment was heralded by Larry and Brian, and Karen and I shared a hug before she went home and caught the flu from her husband. Get well soon, Karen.

I am meeting our appraiser at the property tomorrow. Our loan is in process, the title work is being done, the termite report is clear, the house is solid, and we are on our way to settlement.

Only 22 days to go!