Well, here I am on Christmas Eve and the oddest thing just happened...
’Twas the
night before Christmas and here in DC, I hadn’t found time yet to put up a tree
or finish my shopping, or send out a greeting to clients by email, by text, or
by tweeting. Instead of enjoying a long winter’s snooze, I had agents, attorneys
and lenders to schmooze.
I
sat at my desk as I tried to remember just when I last had such a busy December.
I scheduled inspections and settlement dates while my Schnauzers slept soundly
all snug in their crates. Their little legs moved as in dreams
they gave chase to critters that ran at a frenetic pace.
I
proofread a contract and then just for sport, reviewed the results of a termite
report. I made a few phone calls and couldn’t resist checking off
several things from my long “to do” list.
It
seemed for a moment I might get a break for my beverage of choice and a
Porterhouse steak when out on the street there arose such a clatter I sprang
from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away
to the window I flew like a flash with my doggies in tow like a hundred-yard
dash. I parted the draperies and peered through the glass
expecting to see what had caused the loud crash.
And
what to my wondering eyes did appear but a red-suited man with six-pack of beer
and a UPS driver all dressed up in brown whose eyebrows were narrowing into a
frown. His truck, it was dented, his uniform, tattered, his
packages strewn on the ground were all shattered.
The
red-suited man was surveying the scene surrounded by reindeer and elves dressed
in green. He bowed to the driver and said with chagrin, “What an
awkward position we find ourselves in.”
Well,
the driver, in no mood to be so polite, shook his fist and replied with his eyes
shining bright, “Don’t try to pretend this is my fault!
Enough! Now you tell me, just who’s going to pay for this
stuff?”
But
the red-suited gentleman seemed not to hear as he belched and he hiccupped and
opened a beer. He raised up the can and he took a long draught
while I watched from the window and had a good laugh.
Then
much to my horror, he looked up and froze as the UPS guy punched him square in
the nose. The force of the blow made him sit with a plop and he
stayed on the ground ’til the dizziness stopped.
Then
slowly he rose from his sitting position, assessing with care his most current
condition. “Hey, Rudolph,” he called, “I am still quite alive, but
I think I should sleep in the back while you drive.”
From
the rear of his transport he pulled out a sack filled with money to pay Mr. UPS
back. Then I heard him exclaim as he boarded the sleigh so he
could get sober and be on his way, “This drinking and flying is really a bummer.
Next year I’ll deliver my gifts in a Hummer.”
Merry Christmas, everyone!
